Change...

True, change is a process, a journey, but why is it so emotional?  Dumb question.  I've recently made several life choices that have filled in the wedges of my foundation, they've stabilized me.  I've arrived to a place where change is the only option left.

I'm slowly losing weight, have slowed down on fast food, opting for better options and have purchased the Nutribullet (which I LOVE) and have been juicing/extracting more with fruits and veggies.  My workouts have increased to a minimum of 4 days a week, 2 of which are with an amazing therapist.

I still have vices, I haven't given up smoking, but I rarely drink, maybe once a month??? I dunno.  The power of positivity is swelling up in me and I can see the great things that lie ahead of me.  I choose to let God do what He will do by not focusing on what hasn't come to pass yet. ( Thanks FB random update post from someone I don't know, lol )  Timing is everything, right?

So I have mixed emotions, fear of the unknown, excitement, sadness that I feel like I alone make this choice knowing I will be the recipient of all consequences and blessings (said the commitment-phobe).  Can I handle the future?  Of course I can.  Will I need help, support, love, critique?  Of course I will.  But what a lucky girl am I that I'm surrounded by amazing people and a wealth of resources.

I deal with an increasing amount of loneliness and choose not to share verbally with people.  It comes and goes but it does have some tremendous moments.  I'm loneliest in a group of people but specifically when around someone that I have deep feelings for.  Life has taught me to not rush things, to not screw up a good thing so I enjoy the life and relationships I have without rocking the boat.  

I revert to prayer, exercise, and a good diet to keep myself in stasis, to keep momentum going, and to keep focus on all the change that will inevitably come.