Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Family Roots?

One thing lacking in my life is blood-related family, roots.  The topic of family saddens me especially when I meet people that are close to their families.  I get a little bitter and spiteful because I feel like my dad prevented me and my brother from being a part of something out of purely selfish reasons.  I hate the ego.  I prayed a lot that God would let me meet my family, and it's started to happen.



The long story short is that my dad has 8 brothers and sisters, and my grandfather (my lolo) has 8 brothers and sisters.  I have 4 half-siblings from my dad's previous marriage as well as a million cousins.  What Filipino doesn't?  It's a staple like Spam, Vienna sausages, parties with karaoke, rice, soy sauce...etc. lol.


Prior to my accident, I had always longed for family.  My father never talked about his roots and never invited us to family functions.  Apparently, we're the black sheep on my father's side.  We're estranged.  

But now, in the age of online communities, I've taken it upon myself to search them out.  I'm too cheap to pay for "family tree-building"/"people locating" websites because I know that I could probably do it myself.  It would only cost me time and tenacity.  Luckily for me, networking sites have made it impossible NOT to find family.  My last name, Almalel, makes the task even easier because ALL Almalels are related.  Every single person I requested on FB (that would accept) verified that in some way we were related.  The Excel sheet I started is getting out of hand so I just jot down facts now.


The beginning attempts to relate to my past have been interesting.  I have relatives all over the world.  I met my dad's 1st cousin who lives in AZ and it was cool talking to her because she was my dad's childhood crony.  She dished out a lot about my dad.  It was as if I found a book that detailed Jesus' life between the ages of 12 and 33.  Okay, that's a bit extreme, but I was equally as interested.

Searching for my family has ups and downs.  I now know that I have a 3 year old sister who's mom is probably my age....gross...., but I found my half brother on FB and was so glad to reconnect because apparently, he's a black sheep too. (He's gay and was disowned by my father in '97)  Today I met my 25 year old niece and we chatted a bit.  We decided to get together for lunch.  I feel weird meeting family in this stage of my life and honestly I feel stranger meeting them while in a wheelchair.  It's my own deal, I know.



But this is yet another answered prayer "post-accident".  I'm meeting family left and right and won't let my fear keep me from knowing them any longer.  Before, my dad kept my immediate family from knowing the whole family, so I'm taking the opportunity to meet them, whether it's odd or not.  I'm odd, so I'll be fine. :)

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

We were the black sheep on my dad;s side too. He was in jail for most of our childhood and when he came out we didn't know too much about our family. My grandmother on my fathers side had 18 kids so there are hundreds of grandkids and yes like the Almalel's all Trujillo's and Duran's are cousins. My brother and I are now getting to know that side of the family and I'm not sure if it's for the best. My brother and I have stayed cautious in reconnecting and it turned out for good reason. Sometimes it's better not to have so much family around only cause it's that much more drama and problems. You really need to keep your life simple and only worry about you. If anything that is what I have learned most about trying to reconnect with old friends and family.

Luv, Tina

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