I Don't Belong Here.....Not!

I have a circle of friends which consists of about 7 ladies.  In the last 4 years, 3 of these women have gotten married, and one more will be married within the month.  I was the Maid of Honor for my best friend's wedding last month and can now say that I know what insanity is involved when it comes to wedding preparations.  It has been a domino effect of "I do's".

It started with M.  We all flew out for her wedding in Chicago in 2008.  Incidentally, that was my last big hoorah before my life would be flipped upside down.  The week after her wedding, I would be surrendering myself to the authorities to accept punishment for my DUI.  Things went on, I came home after a day and months later, I was hit by the car which caused my paralysis.  In late 2010, SR got married, this year U, my BFF, got married in July, and next month SG will be getting married.  Whew!

This year the recent nuptial pandemic ,known to me, includes Prince William & Kate Middleton, a childhood friend's cousin which is basically my family, and an old friend from work who's been waiting almost a lifetime to commit (again) to marriage.

How can I NOT think about marriage, I'm surrounded, lol.

I have a FB friend that suffered the same level of injury as me but is 7 years post accident.  She cries a lot and wonders why anyone would ever marry her or anyone in our situation.  Her disability has become her identity and I've reminded her, as I have reminded myself hundreds of times, that your identity is not the chair, that you're still who you were before the accident.  She has had miraculous recovery.  "Sparing" is a term used by physical therapists and is said to be the amount of nerve recovery one experiences after surgical swelling goes down ( the most immediate effect ) and after years of recovery/rehabilitation, when nerves have had time to regrow (the long term effect).  They grow slowly, but with constant therapy and a strong will, the body seems to bounce back a little faster.  Every accident is like a snowflake, not a one is the same as someone else's.  No one knows how long it takes to recover fully, some do (a rare few) and some don't.  We keep pushing on knowing that if we don't take care of our bodies, that we will whither and die.  This girl has recovered feeling in both legs and is able to move her upper thighs a bit.  She's incredible and has an iron will to walk, but still thinks she's not good enough for someone to love.

If it's about the journey, then you can't stop loving yourself when a setback occurs.  Setbacks happen all through out this journey called life.  I have survived a car accident, paralysis, diabetes, a shredded toe, a broken heart, lost friends, but God has more than compensated me for these losses.  What I've been given is priceless, the love of true friends, a mended family that cares for me, a sense of purpose, a love of myself, great growth and wisdom that would've otherwise taken me years to learn, determination, and a sense of who my maker is.  He holds my hand daily and encourages me to go forward.  All these things are payable forward if you choose to do so.

So don't stop....anything.  Live, love, laugh, and trust that God will bring you towards your purpose.  Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you.

If you've given up, you've missed the point.

The Lord afflicts His servants—to glorify Himself, for He is greatly glorified in the graces of His people, which are His own handiwork. "We rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope!" The Lord is honored by these growing virtues.

We would never know the music of the harp—if the strings were left untouched. We would never enjoy the juice of the grape—if it were not trodden in the winepress. We would never discover the sweet perfume of cinnamon—if it were not pressed and beaten. We would never feel the warmth of fire—if the coals were not utterly consumed. The wisdom and power of the great Workman are revealed by the trials through which His vessels of mercy are permitted to pass.

Present afflictions tend also to heighten future joy. There must be dark shadows in the picture—to bring out the beauty of the lights. Could we be so supremely blessed in Heaven—if we had not known the curse of sin and the sorrow of earth?

Will not peace be sweeter—after conflict?

Will not rest be more welcome—after toil?

Will not the bliss of the glorified—be enhanced by the recollection of past sufferings?