Pink is the NEW "Black"

I have a terrible habit of losing things; wallets, homework, keys, cameras.

I had a camera I loved and lost it at a restaurant.  Being in the wheelchair breeds bad habits.  I shove a lot of items between my thighs so I can have my hands free for things like pushing my chair when I use the manual chair.  One night I did just that.  I shoved this camera between my thighs for easy access so I could take loads of pictures of a birthday party dinner.  I did a depression (that's when I lift my body up so that the rump can have some circulation, thereby avoiding getting a pressure wound) and dislodged said camera.  Within 5 minutes it disappeared into some alternate universe.  :/

I like black because it goes with everything.  The camera was black so it was impossible to find it in a dimly lit restaurant full of dancing folks.  Black is like my life.  I like everything to blend into the background.  I don't want to stand out, I just want to enjoy the rest of my life and could care less for the most part if I make a difference or not.  If I happen to, great.  Even my Facebook ID is "Black Olive".  Some gag name created in a website called "Black Dynamite Yo' Self".  (A "B" movie that didn't do too well).

I purchased a replacement camera on eBay identical to my camera but in "hot pink".  I thought that a hot pink camera would be more difficult to lose....again.  It has been with me for several years now and is always a conversation starter.  

Since I have begun meditating I've aligned my thinking closer to a quote I read a while back.

"Once you awaken, you will have no interest in judging those who sleep"

How profound, how liberating.  I felt a freedom to not let the negativity of the world affect me, whether it be an annoying coworker, feelings of unnecessary obligation, a set back in physical therapy due to a hospitalization,and a lot of other things that I have been experiencing since injury.  I was happy to "be" and was happy to progress and learn.  I have the patience of a saint (in comparison to who I was) and a wonderful relationship with my family and myself.  I made a decision to be HAPPY!

Injury in itself liberated me from judgement from any source, a less-than-stellar past, grave mistakes that had haunted me,and self-loathing.  Acceptance of my new self has let me reintroduce the good parts of my old self into current existence. 

I am setting new goals, seeing a dietician, working my tuckus off at the gym and working on loving on people, but more importantly, I am paying it forward.  I am now the hot pink camera that doesn't mind being different yet the same and I don't mind standing out.  Every opportunity I have in conversation results in something positive coming out of my mouth and heart.

The last week has been full of exceptional moments that remind me that anything is possible and to never say "never".

Pink is the Black.....Olive.

Happy Palm Sunday.  Renew yourself and remember the meaning of this season.  Sacrifice, Faith, Renewal, and a freedom to a new life.  God bless you all.

"This is the day Jesus entered triumphantly into Jerusalem and marked, for some, the beginning of a new era in fulfillment of  Zechariah 9:9. There was incredible excitement in the city, but it was a mixed excitement. Some were glad this worker of miracles was entering the Holy City, while others were poised to end his life as a troublemaker and rebel! The events that transpired between that original Palm Sunday and the next Sunday, Resurrection Sunday, changed the world forever."

Think About It

I've upped my game and have a plan at the gym.  The short term goal (half/joke half/not) is that I want to be able to change the water bottle on the cooler at work.  It's 40+ pounds.  Workouts have been appropriately renamed "Olive B's Water Cooler Training".

Mental workouts have been suffering because, well, I never thought about working out my mental wellness. 

At C.O.R.E. (www.corecenters.info) a friend and fellow gym buddy decided to step up to the plate as he had been practicing meditation for many years.  He explained his journey, the desire to teach, and desire to help those of us who were already helping ourselves.  The gym is becoming a total wellness center for me.

Meditation with Andy started at the perfect time.  I needed to learn how to calm myself and focus on the daily tasks at hand as everything has been so up and down, and for the most part, overwhelming.

The first session taught me how to focus on breathing and how to compartmentalize and separate feeling and thoughts from the "now".  I discovered a little "me".  A perfect little version of myself that reminded me of my original blue print, my uniqueness, and how special I am to be part of this life, that I am meaningful in my existence in this great big universe.

This little "me" loves the big me and helps me to heal by touching, in fact painting, all the parts of my body that are injured and need healing.  It kind of looks like this.

I next discovered an older girl version of myself that was hurt, lost, that needed love and encouragement.  Vulnerability was rediscovered and I literally cried.

My first practical situation was like this:

I woke up to an abrupt chaotic morning.  I thought it was saturday, ignored the alarm, woke up to Access calling me to pick me up and there I was, in bed.  I took a breath, decided to accept the situation, the chaos, and all went peacefully.  

I called the service center to let them know that I might take too long to get ready and with no explanation the Access operator said the driver would wait.  This is UNHEARD of.  The driver waited 10 minutes (with a passenger in the vehicle).  I put myself together asap without panic and chaos and we took off. ::scratching head::

Anywho, I made it to work and expected a great day.  It was, and there you have it.  Meditation, breathing, peace.

To be continued...