To quote a therapist when discussing relationships post paralysis, she reminds us that our skin is the largest organ of the body. When rediscovering ourselves in a relationship (especially those who already have partners), there has to be a willingness to try new things. Not weird, or kinky, but a willingness to rewire our thoughts and approaches. What is love? What is sex? Where do the 2 meet after paralysis? The able bodied "other half" now has to dig deep about their feelings for the one they "love", and the one who is disabled is now wondering about emotional stability. I've seen it quite too often where marriages have dissipated because one was not strong enough and on the flip side, I've seen couples who have both desired to make it work grow stronger than ever. They live everyday one day at a time, as we all should, and find out in the end that it's just another challenge to face as a couple. When love is real, it's real. When love is present with ulterior motives, self serving purposes, it doesn't take long for it to end.
I myself am not dating but have been absent touch for a long time now. It's been awhile since I've felt someone touch me, This includes everything from hugging to spooning. I miss the way my skin feels next to someone else's body, and yes, even the feeling of someone's cold feet as they startle you. It's been several years and I've lost count. The simple touches I receive are immensely joyous, especially from my physical trainer as it's a very up close and personal session, lol. He constantly touches my body to identify muscle groups and to correct my technique. Kinky, eh? lol, just kidding...kind of. LOL. Today he had me touch his stomach to prove a point about opposing muscle groups and it was almost too much for me. hee hee hee. It may seem wrong, but it's kind of funny to me. Nothing would ever come of our friendship and I would never ruin our relationship as therapist and patient but our sessions remind me of the days when someone would touch me without fear of hurting me or just plain fear.
I have grown some thick skin. I'm 2 1/2 years post injury and am immune to a lot of things now but have alternately softened up in a lot of areas. The patience I've acquired has helped me in many aspects and along the journey, I've seen how it is the key to life healing whether it's patience in rehabilitation or patience with people. Situations are temporary and life is a mindset. I'm not afraid of loneliness anymore as I'm constantly surrounded by those who love me and wish me well.
I'm continually grateful for these loved ones. They've given me new skin.
I thought this was a funny picture....
Music is always blaring over my speakers or through my iPod (my saving grace).
This song happened to play at the right time.
